Friday Focus

Who do you need to thank for help they've given you? How can you express gratitude to someone who's made a huge difference in your life?

Help Your Child Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions

Students have so many interests--school, extracurricular activities, how to fit in with peers--that concentrating on one thing may become difficult.

That's especially true if the one thing is her homework or a chore you've asked her to do.

Parents can teach their children how to cope with everyday distractions. Try these ideas to help your child get focused:

• Be supportive at homework time. This is different from sitting down with your child and walking her through her assignments. Instead, encourage and monitor your child from a slight distance. Let her know that you believe she can do the work. Offer a snack or drink after she's worked for a chunk of time. Offer suggestions for finding help--a book, the Internet, or a homework hotline.
• Keep it short and sweet. You may find yourself thinking that your child's attention span hasn't been this short since she was a toddler, and you're probably tight! Before you're halfway through a lecture about feeding the dog, your child has tuned you out. Instead, try, "Anne, Dog. Please."
• Encourage note-taking. Writing down instructions has helped many students! Do this for your child at home, and encourage it to be done at school when her teacher is giving directions or assignments to the whole class.

Jump/Hoops for Heart A Huge Success

On Wednesday morning, February 15, students in grades K-3 spent 30 minutes jumping rope to help raise money for the American Heart Association.

"I learned how to jump rope today! I wanna go do some more!" Austin exclaimed as he grabbed another jump rope and continued to jump rope.

Students in grades 3-8 spent nearly an hour shooting hoops and playing basketball to also help raise money for the American heart Association.

Even after an hour of shooting hoops, most students didn't want to return to class!

Thank you for your support of this event as you helped find sponsors for your child. Prizes will be sent to school early in March.

Be Creative When Saying "No"

Children want to know where parents draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Boundaries make them feel safe. Although not always fun, setting limits for children is important.

Parents often have to set limits. It's an essential part of their job. Often this involves saying "no." But this simple word can frustrate kids who hear it too much. And it can lead to power struggles. Continue saying "no" when necessary, but try using these phrases too.

• "Yes." Make it conditional. For instance, "Yes, you can watch TV after you finish your homework," Or, "Yes, you can go to Sarah's. But you need to finish cleaning your room first."
• "I have an idea." Offer another choice. "We don't have pizza. But I have an idea! Let's make your favorite--tacos." The alternative should be as pleasing as possible.
• "Let me think about it." It's tempting to say "no" when you're tired or grumpy. But a few extra minutes of thinking might change your mind--and avoid an argument.
• "I wish we could." Sometimes kids want the impossible, such as an unaffordable vacation. Daydreaming can help. You might say, "I wish we could go. What would you like to see there?"

For additional resources and ideas on setting limits with your children, check out the following:

Parents: Setting Limits
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5226.html

Setting limits plays an important part in disciplining children. For parents, the goal of setting limits and disciplining children is to foster and develop children's inner self-control. By setting limits, parents communicate certain expectations of children's behavior.

Setting Limits & Standing Firm
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5317.html

What's the one thing that you can give to your child and you will never hear them say - "Oh, thanks. I really needed that!"? The answer is limits. So what are limits and why are they so important in parenting?

Using Routines to Improve Your Child's Spelling Skills

When your child has spelling words to memorize, does he stick to a routine? Some of our kids have been consistently practicing spelling words every day in order to prepare for the Spelling Bee in Modesto on March 16.

For many families, though, it's usually, "Quick! Let's learn them on the way to school Friday morning?"

Studying the words the same way every week may help. Try this method:

• Read the word aloud.
• Cover the word and write it.
• Check the spelling.
• Do steps 2 and 3 several more times for each word.

For other ideas and games to help your child become a better speller, check out:

www.funbrain.com/spell...

Helping Kids Learn to Handle Unkind Teasing

Children can be unkind to one another. Learning how to deal with teasing is an important skill for children at all levels of development. It's especially important if your child stands out at school because of an ethnic difference, a learning challenge, or a physical trait. Equip and empower your child what to say to others who may tease them.

Share these suggestions with your child:

• Practice standing up for yourself. Use your words to tell the other person how that makes you feel. It's hard to accept teasing without getting angry or sad. But these emotions are exactly what the teaser hopes to achieve. Instead, practice looking someone in the eye and say something like, "I don't like it when you say that about me," or "You can talk, but I don't have to listen to those kinds of comments."
• Choose friends carefully. Not everyone is a teaser. In fact, most kids look down on those who are cruel to others. Stick with a couple of supportive friends.
• Be a friend. Don't tease others. If you treat others unkindly, you can expect to be treated that way yourself. Being kind and friendly to everyone will eventually earn you lot of respect.

Beware Befriending Your Fears

I happened to be in Dallas last Friday and went to breakfast with a copy of The Dallas Morning News. A story on the front page caught my eye and led to a second, related story on the following page. A major newspaper in a major American city was fascinated with the phenomenon of loneliness.

"Woman lived alone, with only her fears" declared the below-the-fold headline. The article gave sketchy information about a woman whose mummified body was found and tentatively identified on Wednesday of last week. Police investigators say the body had been there for over a year.

Water service had been shut off in April 2005 for nonpayment. There was no electrical service. There were bars on the windows, and there had been a city citation for litter and high weeds last fall. Nobody remembers seeing the woman who bought the house 20 years ago for more than a year now. They thought she had moved away and simply left the house unoccupied for all this time.

Early investigations profile a timid woman who told a waitress at a cafeteria where she had been a regular for years that she longed to live a happy, healthy life and have a family. But she was so certain nobody would like her that she wouldn't let the waitress set her up a date with her brother. She wouldn't go out at night because she was afraid of being bitten by mosquitoes. Her life was dictated by her fears, and she died alone. Her body was not discovered for over a year.

There are reasonable fears that everyone has. But we address them. We move on with things that must be done. We integrate our lives with other persons for the sake of mutual support. We take the risk of forming relationships.

Human beings are created in the image of God, and the God of Christian Scripture is a social being. Father, Word, and Spirit have existed from eternity past in perfect community. The triune deity has created us with the innate drive to produce, share, and live in community as well. While times of solitude are often helpful to creativity, loneliness is both unhealthy and painful.

For the shy and isolated, it must be horrible to reach out. To take the risk of rejection. To put themselves in social contexts that make them feel insecure. But it is a risk worth taking! And those of us who find it easier and more natural to be outgoing certainly have the responsibility of making space in our lives for others. Compassionate with their awkwardness. Sensitive to their fears.

In order to be missed, we must make friends with more than our fears.

--Rubel Shelly